last year, i talked about the birth of my son, who is going to be 6 in two weeks:
http://trottingteacher.blogspot.com/2010/11/confession-my-birth-expereince-and.html
I said I would never give birth in a hospital ever again. One year later, I have a new birth story to share: the birth of my daughter, who ironically was born in a hospital.
Some elements of the story are the same. Both babies were induced because the doctors were worried about their health in the womb. I had very little amniotic fluid, which seems to be a big sign of trouble. My daughter also had a skipping/weak heart beat and hadn't grown between week 37 and 38. Additionally, I had lost 20 kilos and was continuing to loose weight even in that final week, so at 38 weeks, they pulled the plug on the pregnancy thing. The thing is, my daughter, at 38 weeks, weighted almost the same as my son at 42 weeks. It's possible my son also stopped growing at 38 weeks but just no one noticed.
Both times copious amounts of drugs were used to stimulate the body and get it into labor. Pictocin in the US and Syntocin in HK but basically the same thing. Both times my cervix refused to completely open. For my son, it opened almost enough so that the doctor could open me by hand for a vaginal birth. But with my DD, my cervix hardly opened at all, even after 15 hours of drugs and contractions.
One difference: I learned that being strapped to the bed was the thing that forced me to ask for pain meds last time, more than the contractions themselves. This time, despite being a major pain in the nurses ass, I insisted that i get up and move around the bed, change positions, do what I needed to do to relieve the sore feeling in my body when i stayed too long in a position. I breathed through contractions and listened to a Calmbirth CD that helped me experience the contractions as waves of energy, and refused to call them pains. I even asked the nurses not to call it "pain" but "waves" so i wouldn't get out of my mentality. I didn't need a single drug for the labor and didn't even experience them as being particularly painful. The nurses were surprised, because I was being monitored and the waves were quite strong, but I was just sitting up and breathing calmly with my eyes closed and being very Zen about it all...they kept asking me if I needed pain medication, but I insisted the waves were just fine thank you and no medication was necessary. When I started to feel uncomfortable, I stood up and did a bit of a dance to rotate the hips sockets and flex the spine and get relief. It was truly awesome and exactly why I took the Calmbirth class in the first place. No screaming, moaning, groaning, or crying for drugs for me! That hypnosis stuff really works...but you have to put lots of mental energy into it. I listened to that CD every single night in my waking and sleeping for 3 months prior, to properly seed my subconscious.
However, the cervix not opening was a problem and after 24 hours of being on labor inducing drugs with little effect on the cervix, I was getting a bit weak, as I had not eaten or drunk anything in that 24 hour period and i was tired and since they had broken my waters in an effort to get things going 12 hours earlier, they were on the clock to get her out before the waters broke. I had 2 options: keep going another 3 hours (their limit) and if nothing happened, get a cesarean, or allow them to do the cesarean right then and there. Since I was only 2 cm dilated and the chances of going from 2 to 10 in three hours seemed slim to us at that point, I agreed to let them cut me open.
Kiara was born on Dec 1st, 2011, at 9:29 am and weighed 3.03 kilos. She was pretty mad about being taken from her warm home, and since then, being cold is just about the only time she really exercises her lungs. An hour or two later, she made her first breastfeeding attempt, and we cuddled in the recovery room. After that, she slept for about 3 weeks. During this time, nothing and no one could wake her up or get her to eat, by breast, cup, or spoon. She lost tons of weight, which made her even sleepier.
After my son's 6 months of constant screaming, I had wished for a sleeping baby, but I never realized how I would regret that wish! One wonderful thing about it though was I had three weeks to get rest and relax and recover. And when she did wake up, we sorted out our issues with feeding and breastfeeding within two weeks. Now she is feeding like a champion, gaining lots of weight, off formula, off the SNS feeder, off the nipple shield, and pumping has been reduced from 15-20 times a day (yes, due to milk issues I was pumping 20 times a day the first two weeks) to about 3 times a day.
She hardly ever cries. Usually only when she is cold. Unlike with my son, I fell in love with her right away. And the happiest thing I can say is no PPD! I read that 50% of mothers who get PPD get it again with subsequent babies. So far, so good for me!
My son LOVES his sister and has been very active in her care. He has changed a diaper, fed her a bottle, burped her, bathes with her, and asks to hold her every day. He lavishes kisses and hugs and is always as gentle and careful as can be. IN turn, she has graced only him with her smiles. She clearly adores him and he adores her. I'm so thankful I have such a wonderful son and wonderful daughter. They both fill my life with light and joy. I hope they fill each other's life with joy as well. having a sibling to relate with and share memories with when parents pass away is such a gift. Sure kids bicker and don't see eye to eye on everything; but when the chips are down, they will have each other and that is a wonderful gift.
All in all, this experience has been far superior, and very healing for me. I'm so glad I have this precious being in my life and so glad my son thinks she is as wonderful as I do. Kiara, my little sunshine.
