I used to really dislike Father's Day. In fact, for the better part of the past 15 years, FD has passed right by me and I didn't even know it until July rolled around and I was vaguely aware I missed it along the way.
This is because for the better part of the past 15 years, i haven't had a TV and missed all the adverts. or the adverts were in a language I didn't understand.
As a kid, I used to dread Father's Day, because the teachers at school would make me write a card or some crappy thing addressed to my father. Even before he died, I used to say he was dead so I wouldn't have to do it. It's not that I'm angry or bitter or anything like that. Not that I ever wished him dead or had a grudge against him personally.
I hated Father's Day because i was supposed to think of something to write (for a graded assignment) that sung the praises of someone I barely knew, and the few memories I had were not exactly appropriate to put on a greeting card.
Would Hallmark have had a card that said:
"Happy Father's Day, Dad! I'll never forget when I was five how you stole all the money and food in the house and left me alone for a weekend while you went on a drug/drinking binge! I watched so many Woody Woodpecker cartoons...it was awesome Dad! You're the best!"
or how about, "Happy Father's Day! you were so right about many things, like how I was going to become fat, so i needed to go on a diet. You were so helpful when you tried to hyponitize me to sleep for days on end so you didn't have to feed me so I could loose weight! it was a great idea, Dad! Your parenting skills are second to none!"
Again, totally not bitter. I could have been bitter, I suppose. i just never wasted much time thinking about him, and when i did think of him, it was more like " I wonder if he's dead yet?" Not because I wanted him dead, I assure you, but i was one of those kids very aware that people died, and being a kid, thought basically anyone older than a teenager was graveyard material.
No, he was who he was and I didn't dislike him at all until I had my own child and really understood the weight of being a parent, and the actual gravity of the crap he pulled.
But this year, because of Facebook, I realized (OK, a day late) that it's Father's Day again.
So for those of you who have or are fathers, Happy Father's Day! May you always be worthy of your child's love and admiration.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 3, 2011
Who is this child?
My son says things that make me wonder who he is.
Today, I was fixing breakfast, and Kai looked at me and said, "Mommy, are you frustrated?" I said, in surprise,"No, I don't feel frustrated. Why?"
"Because you look frustrated. Tell me all about your dreams last night." Jung, anyone?
Later on, after watching "Green Eggs and Ham" on the computer Kai said, "If I were Sam, I'd let him be. He doesn't care. He just keeps pushing him to try the eggs. It's so mean."
The other day, Kai and Mabo were playing badminton, one of their favorite pastimes. Recently, Mabo bought him a child-sized racquet with a Winnie the Pooh motif, and it is a much prized possession. Well, he was upset at Mabo and hit him repeatedly with the badminton racquet. Mabo told him that he didn't deserve a racquet since he used it as a weapon, and Kai should give it away to some other child who can follow the rules and use it appropriately. After considering that for a while, Kai said, " You know Daddy, you're right. I don't deserve this. We should give it away. Where's the wrapping paper?" Since when does a 5 year old conclude he should give his prized toys away to more deserving children?
One of my favorites was a few months ago, when he looked at me and said, apropos of nothing (that I could tell) " You know Mommy, love IS what it's all about!"
A few weekends ago, I was having a really rough time with my morning sickness and was lounging in bed, the only place in my whole apartment that doesn't smell awful from my neighbor's cooking. Kai walked up to me and stroked my face and said, " You just stay there and sleep make a strong healthy baby. I'll go play by myself for a little while." And he did....for two hours!
He says these kinds of thing so often I sometimes forget he's five. It's like he is channeling an adult's mind sometimes. And then he laughs at fart jokes, or whines about eating his veggies, and I remember, oh yeah, he's five. But most of the time I am just blown away by the things he comes out with and I wonder, "Who is this child?"
Today, I was fixing breakfast, and Kai looked at me and said, "Mommy, are you frustrated?" I said, in surprise,"No, I don't feel frustrated. Why?"
"Because you look frustrated. Tell me all about your dreams last night." Jung, anyone?
Later on, after watching "Green Eggs and Ham" on the computer Kai said, "If I were Sam, I'd let him be. He doesn't care. He just keeps pushing him to try the eggs. It's so mean."
The other day, Kai and Mabo were playing badminton, one of their favorite pastimes. Recently, Mabo bought him a child-sized racquet with a Winnie the Pooh motif, and it is a much prized possession. Well, he was upset at Mabo and hit him repeatedly with the badminton racquet. Mabo told him that he didn't deserve a racquet since he used it as a weapon, and Kai should give it away to some other child who can follow the rules and use it appropriately. After considering that for a while, Kai said, " You know Daddy, you're right. I don't deserve this. We should give it away. Where's the wrapping paper?" Since when does a 5 year old conclude he should give his prized toys away to more deserving children?
One of my favorites was a few months ago, when he looked at me and said, apropos of nothing (that I could tell) " You know Mommy, love IS what it's all about!"
A few weekends ago, I was having a really rough time with my morning sickness and was lounging in bed, the only place in my whole apartment that doesn't smell awful from my neighbor's cooking. Kai walked up to me and stroked my face and said, " You just stay there and sleep make a strong healthy baby. I'll go play by myself for a little while." And he did....for two hours!
He says these kinds of thing so often I sometimes forget he's five. It's like he is channeling an adult's mind sometimes. And then he laughs at fart jokes, or whines about eating his veggies, and I remember, oh yeah, he's five. But most of the time I am just blown away by the things he comes out with and I wonder, "Who is this child?"
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