Why not?

Thursday my principal told me because she was going to make me work Saturdays forever, i could have Friday off (since the school would be closed anyway and the teachers would be having a day long series of meetings in Cantonese).  We took the opportunity to renew Kai's passport, as its due to expire soon.  My munchkin is old enough to have an expired passport! 

On the way back from the US Consulate, it occured to me that I could totally do that job, and the liklihood of me getting a post with a consulate was much higher than a RELO, since there are only 19 RELO positions in the world and a few hundred consulates/embassies. 

But then a little voice said "you couldn't get that job" (because that voice is always trying to tell me im not smart enough, pretty enough, funny enough, capable enough, etc). 

As soon as the voice said "you couldn't get that job" a huge double decker bus stopped on the opposite side of the street, painted in black, with the words "WHY NOT?" written in fantastically HUGE letters.  this must be some kind of new slogan for some thing, but i never figured out what comapny was advertising "WHY NOT?" and i made it a point to recognize the fact that this bus was answering to my insecurities. 

Paulo Coehlo taught me a lot about recognizing signs.  this was clearly one of them.  Why not?  Why not?  This should be my mantra from now on.

We went to Stanley to do a bit of window shopping, and I ended up spending way more money than I usually spend, but all, every penny, on Kai.  We found a bookstore that was selling everything 1/2 price, and there were so many super cool race car things and dinosaur things.....we bought only one proper book, and everythign else was loosley related to reading, but was mostly games.    He was the happiest boy on Earth all weekend as a result.  I am very sure i never bought so many things for kai all at one time...he was overjoyed.  We carried two huge shopping bags out of that store.  But I kept thinking, why not, just for today......why not?

 I can see how some parents fall into the trap of thinking money can buy their kids happiness.  in the short term, it certainly seems true. 


Since my bank account was pretty tired after the furious spending on Kai on Friday, Saturday and Sunday we didn't do much at all.  I tried, half heartedly, to shop for a birthday gift for a kid i don't really know, but didn't buy anything except a sweater and a turtleneck  for myself, as my washing machine seems to enjoy eating my clothes. 

Plus, Kai and I were hacking up lungs both days, with no other symptoms of being sick.  I don't think either of us ARE sick, but we both have developed smokers cough from the air pollution.  But just to play it safe, I kept things low key, and Kai was perfectly content to stay at home and play with his new toys anyway. 

Today I'm going to start looking at the US state dept website and see what exactly people need to do to be consulate officers.  Why not? 

And, no, I'm giving up my dream of being a RELO.  but what fun is it to achieve a dream in your 30's anyways?  Then what do you have to look forward to?  Life is about the journey, not the finish line, right?